"WHY MISSIONARY IS THE BEST POSITION"

Oddly enough, it turned out to be easier than I thought to get material for this blog. People are extremely keen on talking about sex, believe it or not, and the fact that you could release all your thoughts on the subjects without worrying about anyone knowing it's you made the quotes pour over me like rain on midsummer.

Johanna provided me with this blogs titel when we had a casual chat about good vs. bad sex. Below you can see what she and two other women had
to say about it, alongside with the pro tips on how to make the missionary a new favorite.

...Sounds like I work for a company that sells that position...

The individuals in this post define themselves as WOMEN and talk about the sexual encounters they've had with MEN.

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JOHANNA: No but guys don't get it. They think that the missionary is like they "thust into you". That's seems to be what they think I like, just in out, in out.. That's not what it's about. It's like... Do they like this or they think I like this?
It might have something to do with him getting in better? I just don't understand how guys who does this think.

ME: How does one perform the missionary properly?

JOHANNA: It's about pressure and friction rather than penetration. The right hip movements from the guy. With, like, the whole pelvic. No quick movements!

ME: So you think that is nice for a male physic as well?

JOHANNA: It's always different with sex. Sometimes it's good because it's sexy, not that it does much to the body really. I do think the guy almost always thinks it's nice during penetration.

ME: How does one communicate the proper way to do the missionary to a guy?

JOHANNA: I think it's like one of those 'you get some, you give some' thing. Like with oral. If I guy performs oral on me it might be sexy for him because he is giving me a good time.
But that also has two sides, sometimes I feel very pressured over having to enjoy it, all focus on my enjoyment. I rarely orgasm when I feel that pressure. Or, like, never.

ME: I dont think that's strange at all. Feeling pressured and feeling sexy doesn't really go hand in hand.
But you mean, it would be totally normal to ask for oral, but to ask for missionary your way would be harder?

JOHANNA: I think so. Because it's not so much spoken about... Like this, if I give someone oral it's very clear that I do it to satisfy him, and vice versa the other way around. But the missionary could possibly be fun for both parts, but also risks being very monotone for the girl or boring for the guy.

ME: How does it become monotone for the girl?

JOHANNA: When it's just in and out. Same pace. Constant same pace.

ME: Sounds like that would hurt after a while...

JOHANNA: Yeah that ends up being a little bit mind-less after a while. But that's what I think the missionary tends to be after a while. Lacking imagination. And that's what I mean, I don't think it's common knowledge what to really do when it comes to the missionary. It might be portraid as just being that; laying on top of each other and rubbing repeatedly.

ME: So, slow rubbing with a lot of friction is the way to go... One could maybe argue for it with "but hey, if you can go down on me for my sake, why couldn't you do this instead on my terms?"

JOHANNA: I have tried to explain like "if you do more like this, or a little bit more that way..." but it's like it doesn't really connect that we could both have a better time just by listening to me.

ME: So you don't feel heard when you say stuff like that? Have you had the same problem with different partners?

JOHANNA: It was mostly this one guy with whom I tried to talk but it didn't really hit home. But I was only with him a couple of times. It tends to be like that when you don't feel listened to.

ME: Have you had more success with other partners?

JOHANNA: I have to say the guy I was with a longer period of time was also the guy with whom I had the best sex. ...Maybe not that unexpected. (Laugh)
But he also nailed the missionary right from the start.

ME: How?

JOHANNA: He knew how to move those hips! (Laugh) That's where we all always end up. It's also not the most intense climaxe but it feels like coming constantly for a long time. So you have to make sure you paus now and then because it can get very... Intense. (Laugh)

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Erika also had some to say about this position of positions, especially during longer intercorse sessions.

ERIKA: Well, if you are super horny and feel like... woho, I am so ready we just have to do it right now, the missionary is a great position to warm up with. For me personally, the missionary position is not just laying there, it's a lot of involving the arms, the legs. Also, it's quite intimate since you are so close to the other person's face. I think I orgasm very easy from that.

ME: Why do you think that is?

ERIKA: Good angle. Or the fact that you can go deeper. You can also get quite deep from behind but it's simple not as good of an angle. I don't usually orgasm from doggy, so that can be done for a while and then change the last minutes of the sex to the missionary. That's where I, prefarably, finish. Not always but often.

ME: When you talk about the angle... Do you find it to be the same with every guy you have been with?
Upon getting stoff for this blog I interviewed at girl who used to say she hated to ride... until she changed partner. She explained it to be something about how he was shaped, and how she was angled. Her first partner's anatomy and her own didn't really match, which made the riding position a no-go.
Do you think the missionary is "imune" to this angle problem?

ERIKA: I'd like to think it's a safecard, it works. But I also have another favorite, the one were both is sitting up with one person's legs over the other's. Like riding but the man is also sitting up. That was the position for me and my ex. But I don't think it worked as well with other people after him...
The missionary is just an easy position to orgasm in for me, I guess it stimulates clitoris good enough so I don't need to have hot, passionate sex in order to come.

ME:That is a nice little luxury, that that always works for you. It reminds me of why I started this blog, because so many people never seem to find that thing that works for them, So if it has this 100% successrate for you, that is simply amazing.
I can defenitely see why it's a great position. You can get close to the other, you can kiss or hold hands.
So if it's not only a good position for you, it's also the best for orgasming, why do you think it's such an underrated part of an intercourse?

ERIKA: Maybe because it's some kind of performance anxiety when it comes to telling about the sex for other's? You are supposed to be experienced and have a lot of positions and ideas in your repetoaire. The missionary position doesn't tell a good story. It might be underestimated beacuse it's considered boring, because that is where you start your exploring of sex. And also where you finish, when you are older and cant move around as much.

ME: Do you think there is any connection between being "worse" in bed and relying on missionary more? You did say that it's a position that works well for you, but do you think it might be true that it's somewhat of a newbie-position? Have you ever felt the like a lot of the missionary means not as good sex?

ERIKA: Not really... but it can definitely mean faster sex. But if I can decide, I love to change around for a bit and then return to the missionary under the same session, because it is really a very nice position.
A TYDLIGT example is the Tinder-date I brought home a couple of months ago. That was just plain boring, but that also had something to do with us not knowing each other well enough, or, at all. Only missionary. Barely anything else. He finished way too quick. All in all, it was not good.

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Sarah's response turned in to a beautiful discussion about the effects of porn, alternative meanings of the expression "dead fish" and what it really means to have communication in bed. 

SARAH: Oh yeah the missionary is veeery nice. For me. (Looks smirky)

ME: (Laugh) Please tell me more.

SARAH: For once, it's not me doing all the work. Or, any work at all, basically. It's a very good angle for me as well. It's very enjoyable for me. And for him!

ME: How is it enjoyable for him?

SARAH: Because it is enjoyable for me. You get turned on by your partner being turned on. So it's a win-win, I'd say.

ME: Why do you think the missionary has.. let's call it "a bad reputation"?

SARAH: I think it might be looked upon as a classical but... boring position. "Old people sex" or "old married couple". That doesn't sound very exciting, does it?
It can also have something to do with what you mentioned in the last post, the "dead fish syndrome" - the girl is "just laying there". But I also think it can have something to do with a lot of guys being affected by porn.

ME: In what way?

SARAH: That guys, in their teens, have watched a lot of porn and have a clear picture of "what girls like", what she enjoys, enev though it's a false image. It's just acting, porn is not how sex is like in real life.

ME: And in porn, no one ever does the missionary?

SARAH: There is some, but it's not the usual. It feels more like the positions in porn is made to make the body parts of the girl as visable as possible. In porn, it also looks like the girl is enjoying everything. Like with anal, a lot of guys just think it's sticking it in after seeing how "easy" it is in porn.

ME: Varför tror du den vanliga fördomen är att tjejer tycker missionären är bra och killar inte tycker det?
What do you think about the old prejudice that "girl like the missionary, and guys don't"?

SARAH: I think it has something to do with, as mentioned before, that the guy needs to work a little harder in the missionary, especially comparing to, for example, the girl being on top riding.
And that's also why I think the guys think it's boring, because they are the ones who have to "make" the girl come. That the main focus is on the guy since he is doing most of the movements.
...Is that who it becomes "dead fish"? When one tries to "make" the other come in stead of a united effort?

ME: So you'd say the more passive position, "dead fish", is to take, not to give?

SARAH: And that's where is becomes negative. Beacuse the guy wants the girl to be as active as possible.

ME: A person who is actively participating in the act is most probably funnier to be in bed with. I'd say that goes both way for men, and women.
How is your partner when it comes to the missionary?

SARAH: We mix it up a lot. From time to time. We like to start with asking the other "what do you like to start with" and so on... Yeah, it might sound kind of cheesy...

ME: I think it sounds amazing. The way you communicate.

SARAH: Yeah it has developed over the years. He can absolutely be the one who suggests the missionary. It's fair that if I do something very exhausting for a while, we switch to a position where he gets to do more of the work so I can regain energy, Sometimes I have to work to get us both to finish, sometimes he does. We always finish at the same time.

ME: WAIT WHAT?

SARAH: Kind of... Except those times when he moves juuuust when I am about to come! (Laugh) We usually ask each other if the other person is close to finishing, and if we are not then we do it until both are and then it's like a... small explosion of orgasm.

ME: Amazing.

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I am so happy for being able to interview these women, but now, the big question: 

DO YOU AGREE? 

If you don't, or if this post has awaken any kind of thoughts, 

don't hesitate to contact me with your reflections on 

FELICIAAXELSSON.S@GMAIL.COM 

or in the comment section bellow!